What did I do to deserve this?<
Life’s cruel joke 4/1/2007
What did I do to deserve this?
Have you found yourself asking that question in your life? People let you down? Your dreams don’t pan out like they’re supposed to? You work your butt off, do all the right things, and you get the short end of the stick? People don’t like you and you don’t know why? Your luck never seems to come around no matter how hard you put yourself out there?
Most people deal with these things more than those who have everything work out for them. Unfortunately, there are some misconceptions as to “why” things do not always happen in our favor and why they sometimes do. And unfortunately, most of these misconceptions come from the Christian community. They are for the most part, so misinformed and ignorant. Somehow, everything is supposed to work out if you always keep your heart in the right place, have the right attitude, do everything you’re supposed to, keep your nose clean, put your all into something or go above and beyond with your effort and excellence, and somehow, if we’re “right with God” He is gonna bless the socks off us.
But what if that doesn’t happen? How do you explain the fact that complete scoundrels have great things happen for them and those who are “good” have the worst in life happen to them? Does it mean that someone is a better person than another and therefore “gets what’s coming to them?”
I don’t believe any of that crap. There is no way to explain away why God allows things to happen to and for people and why He doesn’t for another. There is no way to explain why He answers someone else’s prayers and not yours. It has nothing to do with how good you are, how well you serve Him, how nice you are to others, how hard you’ve worked, how talented you are in any given area, how many times you’ve prayed and read your Bible today. For years, people have believed that all of this was tied in to how well you served God. If you look at history, bad things have happened to the most devoted people and they didn’t always get resolved. Somehow, we think that things are supposed to always work out and resolve themselves.
Did you ever think that sometimes God doesn’t want them to work out because that’s just part of his individual plan for you? He asks us to be content in all things. He doesn’t promise us that they will all work out to a perfect little ending. Those who think they are somehow blessed because they have something good happening in their lives…news break…you are no more blessed than those who are down on their luck. You are no better than someone who has more talent than you but never “made it”. You are no more “set apart” than someone who didn’t get a record deal or had a lot of exposure. You are no more rewarded by God for your good deeds than someone who kept their nose clean and did all the right things just because you see success in what you’re doing and they don’t. Good does not equal success and favor.
The question is this – is God number one to everything else in your life? We say “yes” because that is the “right” answer to give, but when it really comes down to the wire and God takes all your dreams and shatters them, let’s others succeed even though they are the biggest cheats, liars and thieves, can you still be “content in all things”? Even if they never work out for the best? Most people can not truly live this out. You have no idea until it actually happens to you, how you will deal with this.
I’ve faced these things in my own life. People I thought were friends have neglected me, let me down, used me, lied and stolen from me. People I “thought” were Godly in this music industry are the biggest posers I’ve ever met in my life – they’ve stolen my music and passed it off as their own ideas, taken the mechanics to my own songs and put their own spin on it, didn’t fulfill agreements or contracts, gave me the worst business service I’ve ever paid for, and in the end didn’t do the right thing by me, despite their so called Christian public image – and they are still out there doing their thing despite all the dirt they have underneath the surface. They know all the things to say to appear good but dont’ live it. They are succeeding. This is enough to destroy someone yet they continue doing it to other people on their way to the top.
My dreams didn’t all come true. My success didn’t happen the way I hoped it would work out. People let me down when I most needed someone. I’ve wondered if God was really there, listening, working in the dark on my behalf, and even if He was really “real”. And I’ve come to this conclusion…when you get to the point where you’re so desperate for Him, that’s exactly where He wants you. If He has to take things away from you to get you to that point, including your dreams, your success, your money, your friends, and even strip the very core of your belief system, then you’re in the right place. If you think you’ve got it all together, you really don’t. One day you will wake up and find that you had it all wrong.
Question everything, everyone, even God. It’s ok to do that. He just wants you to find your way to Him. Others will tell you what they think is the right way and they can be wrong, judgemental, hypocritical. No one is perfect, no one is sound. Why do you believe what you believe? Because someone told you so? Do your own seeking. Don’t rely on anyone else as a crutch. Don’t put your faith in people. They will disappoint you in the end. But put your faith in God.